The simplicities of eating Plant Strong

Although I am primarily a plant strong (mostly vegan) eater, you might occasionally find a piece of pizza in my hands with cheese on it – that being said, I’m not a legalist, but I cook plant strong at home.

So, from time to time I have to laugh at the way some of the recipes I come across read to me.  Here is a sample, from my own imagination, of what I’ve encountered when venturing into new plant strong recipe lands…

Recipe: Super healthy vegan crab-cakes with clam and buffalo meat sauce chilled soup (vegan)

Recipe Cook time: (91 days, plus gathering and cooking time), so about under 30 minuets

Serves: 12 people, unless you eat like a normal person, then about 3 persons or 5 cats

Ingredients:

Garden Fresh 90 day ripened Roma tomatoes

Nutritional Yeast (this is in EVERYTHING and is a terrible fake cheese substitute comprised of lies)

Unicorn Dust

Tempeh

vegan sausage crumbles

hoisin sauce

tamari

tahini

beans (soaked overnight, then cooked for hours)

Plain Soy Yogurt

Step one:

Plant your own tomato garden, harvest fresh 90 day ripened ROMA tomatoes (if they were not grown in your own backyard, with organic materials, and you harvested on day 91, don’t even bother with this recipe, it won’t work – your life is a waste of time).

Step two:

Create cheeze sauce from nutritional yeast and unicorn dust.  Unicorn Dust is typically found at your local natural food co-op located just 45 miles outside of town and is open for exactly three hours during some days when you get there it is usually closed.  It’s also easy to find this rare ingredient at your local Asian foods store that is too small for a children’s stroller and everything is in spanish (why??), good luck.  Mix the two together on stove in small ceramic pot (not teflon, teflon is for animal haters and people who don’t care about their health – fools)

Step three:

Crumble tempeh and mix with hoisin sauce, you don’t know what hoisin sauce and tempeh are because no one cares about them, but you should, and you do now.  Spend exactly twenty-three hours in Whole Foods looking for both of these items while at least one of your children cries the entire time (or they take turns), once you find them smile at your good fortune and high intelligence.

Step four:

Put tahini in something.  You can make your own tahini and should with millions of sesame seeds in a food processor.  It’s easy if you loves messes and being a mass food production person because you have so much time on your hands already from cooking from scratch, looking for unheard of ingredients and raising small children on a plant strong diet.  McDonald’s is basically a swear word in your home.

Step five:

Soak your beans overnight.  You have a perfect memory for doing this with three small children running around your house, after you’ve cleaned up all the messes, put them to bed and finished your Pilaites-yogos, you are now ready to remember to prepare your overnight oats, and soak your beans.  You would never forget this because you already remember what you’re cooking for dinner tomorrow night because you are that organized in your life.  Then, cook your beans in a crock pot for hours and hours the next day, do not forget about them and burn them while enjoying your easy life.  Disregard the fact that they sell fully cooked beans in a can at the grocery store for 79 cents, and you can just wash off the extra sodium in a strainer.  DISREGARD THAT FACT.

Step six:

Recover from the emotional trauma of debating the soaking your beans process vs. buying a simple can of pre-cooked beans.  Locate plain soy yogurt at your local grocery.  Never-mind the fact that the main manufacture of plain and vanilla soy yogurt (WholeSoy) is under some sort of company reconstruction and soy yogurt is now only being sold on the vegan black market, so it’s pretty much unattainable unless you are a plant strong monk, or look like this guy. (“Borrowed” from the Reuters website;)HareKrishnaYou can substitute with coconut yogurt (which gives all your food a coconut taste), or almond yogurt, which is acceptable, but no soy yogurt mind you.

Step seven:

Blend everything together in a VitaMix (they cost 6 bajillion dollars, but are on sale at Costco).  Blend for awhile, the soup will heat itself through the intense blending process, serve in handmade bowls of wicker.  Enjoy.

A letter to my daughters

It is my prayer today that you will not be easily fooled by the world’s lies.  The world’s deception that a woman is only worth any value if she has a mate – that she is only of value if she is attractive and perfect, all of the time.  That she is only of value if there is a boy to tell her she is worth anything.  To believe that if your’e not attached to a male, if you don’t have a boyfriend, an admirer or a thousand admirers that your’e nothing of value in this society.

 

Advertising, media, movies, television, music, the mall, shopping, magazines and every other form of printed or internet related “propaganda” of our current society will attempt to sell you these lies on a regular basis.

 

It will tell you that you NEED their product to be beautiful, to be good enough, to be thin enough, to be anything enough.  It will attempt to teach you that you are lacking – always in need of something to improve you; your appearance, your self, your worth.  It will attempt to sell you anything it can get you to buy through these lies.  The lie that you aren’t good enough, the lie that you are lacking.  The ultimate lie: that you can get what you need without God.

 

And that’s where you can know the lie begins.

 

Real knowledge begins with God, it doesn’t begin without Him.

 

If God is not involved, it doesn’t matter how beautiful, how fun or how entertaining it is – it is not the beginning of wisdom or a road that will lead you to life.  It will never set you free.  It will bind you.  And you will hate it.  And you will fight it for the rest of your life until you allow the truth to set you free.  The truth, no matter how painful, ugly or uncomfortable, will always set you free.

 

Some people spend their whole lives searching, striving and straining to get what it is they are after.  Affirmation of their value, their worth.  Sometimes things or people or positions give a temporary feeling of fulfilled affirmation – however in the end, it always comes up needy again.

 

The only thing that will ever fully meet your needs isn’t a thing at all, it is in Christ Jesus.  I promise.  Not even your dad or I can fully meet your needs for acceptance, approval or feeling of value.  As much as we love you, we will still fail you in some way, because we too, like you are human.  Well intentioned boys will fail you, good intentioned friends will fail you, your job, your hobbies, even you will fail you.  But there is good news – God will never fail you.

 

It is my prayer that you can know and believe these things from a young age.  That although apart of your peer group, you are never swayed as they are by societies every shifting view of beauty, value or desire for acceptance.  Once you can know that your truest value and beauty is found in the Lord, you are then set free to live life the way God intended – with him.  Set free to love yourself entirely, because that is indeed how Christ loves you.  He died for you, right there in your sinful nature.  He loves you when your sleeping.  He loves you even when you make mistakes.  He loves you when your hair is a mess, and your breath unruly.  He loves you when you are dressed up and feel beautiful and when you are all dirty and a mess and feel like you need a shower.  He loves you always.  Your value in this life is not based on your ability to visually please men in a sexual nature.  Yes, you will visually please your husband in a sexual nature, but that is not your value, it is a gift to be enjoyed, by you, and by your husband. Your value is found in the fact that God the Father, chose to send his only Son, Christ, down to earth, to die for you.  He was willing to give everything, just to be with you.  You, you, imperfectly flawed, beautiful you.

 

Your value begins in that place.  The place where you realize how truly loved and adored you are by the King of this life.  The world (and satan) will try to convince you that God is not the King, that self is the king, and there the lie is again.  Nothing in this life will bring you the true knowledge of your value except trusting God with your entire heart.

 

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

 

Or as I like to say it, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty will fade (no matter how much plastic surgery you can afford), but a woman who fully trusts in the Lord will be free to enjoy her life fully, never afraid or lacking, but fully confident in the Lord her God.”

 

You can make yourself look beautiful, you can wear fancy clothes, outfits and do your hair – but it must always remain secondary, secondary to the truth that God loved you first, without any of that, and that is where you are truly the most beautiful.  You must know and believe deep down that you are of value because the King says you are of value, and nothing else.

 

I love you just the way you are,

Mom

 

inspired by a Veggie Tales episode, my hatred of Pinterest fitness/thin pins, ridiculous magazine ads and the bible.